On the road again – My surprising journey continues

The supper at Emmaus by Rembrandt. The story which inspired this painting also inspired my unexpected return to training for ordination.

TODAY I said farewell to the church which has supported me for much of the last three years.

Now that I have started training to be a Methodist presbyter [from the Greek word πρεσβύτερος (presbyteros) which means ‘elder’, from the same root as the word ‘priest’ used in other Christian traditions] I will shortly be assigned to another church.

Here is the message I shared with them this morning:

Three years ago today, I was on a silent retreat to reflect on where I had come from and where I was going. I turned 50 in 2020 and experienced a mid-life crisis in 2021, which included grieving for opportunities missed (like not being ordained, having got half-way through training for Catholic priesthood in my 20s).

Towards the end of the retreat, my spiritual director gave me a guided meditation on the story of the road to Emmaus from the Gospel of Luke (24:13-35) that tells of Jesus appearing to two discouraged disciples as they left Jerusalem on that first Easter Day when Jesus rose from the tomb. I imagined I was the unnamed disciple in the story.

Near the end of the meditation, when the two disciples returned to Jerusalem and told the other disciples ‘how they knew him in the breaking of the bread’, I prayed ‘How can I know you in the breaking of bread?’ I heard ‘Try the Methodist Church’.

I felt strongly that a call to ordained ministry might yet be open to me in the Methodist Church, having grieved that it was closed to me in the Roman Catholic Church and Church of England, as a married gay man. I was surprised, challenged, excited, and uncertain whether it was genuine. I even wondered if I might be going mad!

I discussed this with Revd Dr Barbara Glasson, formerly the Methodius minister in Liverpool city centre, and former President of the Methodist Church in Britain. She said: ‘You know you’re called, get on with it!’

Barbara, who was my spiritual director when she was in Liverpool, knows both me and Methodism well, and she helped me to explore my next steps. These included speaking with the then Chair of Liverpool Methodist District Revd Dr Sheryl Anderson, who was encouraging, and suggested I join you here at St James’ Woolton, where I have attended regularly since January 2022. On my first visit, it was the Covenant service, the first time I had experienced that Methodist tradition. I found it deeply moving, and it affirmed my decision to join the Methodist Church.

I formally became a member at St James’ annual meeting in May 2022, and began to get more involved, with monthly Bible study, leading prayers and reflections during telephone worship, reading and leading prayers on Sundays, joining Church Council, organising a Lent course and leading services as a local preacher on trial.

It used to be that, to apply for ordination in the Methodist Church, a candidate would have to complete local preacher training first. But in May 2023 that restriction was lifted, and I began the process of applying to begin training as a Methodist minister in 2024. I found out in February this year that my application was accepted, and my recommendation for pre-ordination training was approved by the Methodist Conference in July.

This month I began three years’ part-time training as a Methodist presbyter at the Queens Foundation in Birmingham. Alongside this I am continuing to work part-time with the Open Table Network charity and will still be living in south Liverpool.

I will also be assigned to another church while studying, where I will have a regular involvement and active ministry as a student presbyter. So, this is my last Sunday with you for the foreseeable future, though I am not far away and would love to return whenever I can.

Me (left) in May 2022 with fellow new church member Paul, who rejoined the Methodist Church for similar reasons to mine. READ MORE.

Thank you for your welcome and hospitality, it’s been great to be with you. You have welcome, included, affirmed and empowered me. You have supported and challenged me. You have prayed with me, and for me and my family.

When I came for the first time, I was expecting a room full of strangers. I found a community of friends. As I step out in faith on this new adventure, please pray for me as I do for you.

During my time here, I have also met regularly with Paul, who became a member of the church at the same time, to explore the Methodist Way Of Life together. Like the road to Emmaus, it’s good to have a companion on the journey as we pray, share, learn and serve together, our hearts warmed by our experience of the risen Jesus.

As I say farewell today to step out onto the road again, I recall the words of John’s Wesley’s Covenant Prayer, ‘I am no longer my own but yours’. I am humbled by this experience and trust that grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

Permanent link to this article: https://abravefaith.com/2024/09/29/on-the-road-again-my-surprising-journey-continues/

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