A reflection on calling, belonging, and the Church’s best-kept secret of liberating love
TWO YEARS AGO this week, I found myself in a place I never imagined, at a Discerning Ordained Vocations [DOV] conference of the Methodist Church in Great Britain.
It was part of a careful, prayerful process of listening for God’s call – a call that had already surprised me more than once.
The conference followed months of reflection and discernment, including a short video testimony of my Christian journey (which you can read or watch here) and included a five-minute presentation. At the time, we were advised not to share publicly about this process until the Methodist Conference had confirmed recommendations for training later that summer. Now, halfway through that training, it feels appropriate to mark this milestone by sharing what I offered then.
The question:
The Methodist Conference elects a President and Vice President each year, to serve the national church for 12 months until the next Conference. They choose a theme for their year in office, and invite the national church to reflect together on this theme. The theme chosen at Conference in June 2023 was ‘Hidden Treasures’, based on Isaiah 45:3:
‘I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that it is I the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.’
In her address to Conference, the new President asked,
‘What might we seek, discover and see brought to birth in our own lives and in the life of the church?’
For our five-minute presentaion, we were invited to ‘present your answer to that question from a Methodist perspective.’
My presentation:
Here is my answer – I chose to respond not only with words, but with something visible and tangible.
I used I set of five boxes (pictured above) with words from hymns written in speech bubbles on the outside of each (to hear the hymn, click on the title in the caption underneath each lyric). I sang the lyrics, gave the context, and revealed the next box until I reached the ‘hidden treasure’ in the final box:
Methodists have always sung their faith, and I often experience the Spirit through song, so I present my answer through song, and this box with hidden treasure:
‘Although your Spirt is upon me,
still I search for shelter from your light.
There is nowhere on earth I can escape you,
even the darkness is radiant in your sight’.
– from ‘O God, you search me and you know me‘ by Bernadette Farrell
There is nothing we can do to surprise God, yet I know a God of surprises. As St Paul writes in Ephesians 3:20, God’s ‘power working in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine’. I don’t know what I might seek, discover, and see brought to birth in my own life and the life of the church. I do know that, only three years ago, I would not have believed that I would be standing here today candidating for ordained ministry in the Methodist Church. So, I believe the God of surprises will reveal our hidden treasures to us and others if we are open to perceiving them.
‘My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth and followed thee’.
– from ‘And can it be‘ by Charles Wesley
I grew up in a Christian culture of duty and obligation, which fed my fear, shame, and feeling of being ‘not enough’. I know I cannot do what God calls me to do in my own strength. I have experienced, and continue to experience, in my own life and the lives of those I love and serve, the liberating power of God’s infinite, unconditional, intimate love. That is the greatest treasure I can share. It can feel like the Church’s best kept secret, when the world beyond the church expects us to judge and shame, not love and liberate.
‘Many the gifts, many the people,
many the hearts that yearn to belong.
Let us be servants to one another,
making your kingdom come.’
– from ‘Christ, Be Our Light‘ by Bernadette Farrell
Much of my experience of church and community has been with people on the edge, because of homelessness, addiction, age, disability, domestic or sexual abuse, sexuality and gender identity. I have come to know many hearts that yearn to belong, who don’t feel they can because of negative experiences or perceptions of church. I am already seeing the fruit that grows from sharing with them the treasure that the reign of God is not just about what comes after this life, from which they may already feel excluded. It is equally about justice, dignity and solidarity for everyone without exception, here and now.
‘Not in the dark of buildings confining
Not in some heaven light years away
But here in this place, new light is shining
Now is the kingdom, now is the day.’
– from ‘Gather Us In‘ by Marty Haugen
There’s a temptation in some churches to focus on inviting those we perceive to be on the outside to ‘come and be like us’. We might say ‘all are welcome’, when what people experience is ‘Fit in or get lost’. Jesus calls us out of ‘the dark of buildings confining’ to seek who and what has been lost. If we can truly invite everyone to bring their culture, their voice, their whole selves, we could engage in truly mutual relationship where all of us are transformed and enriched by the restoration of who or what has been lost.
‘Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come.
God’s grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.’
– from ‘Amazing Grace‘ by John Newton
I have come through many dangers, toils and snares to be here today, and so has the Methodist Church! The wisdom of Wesley’s ‘means of grace’ is a treasure at the heart of the Methodist Church which leads me to find a spiritual home here, and it will continue to do so for others beyond our current understanding.
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